Silent Mourning
by TonyZivaFan
Summary: Exactly one year has passed since Kate's death and everyone is solemn. Ziva is mourning her own silent loss... Slight TIVA indicated.


Ziva walked into the bullpen bright and early, just as she had every other morning for close to a year now. "Good morning" she cheerfully greeted her co-workers.

Gibbs didn't even look up from his paperwork, nor did he answer her.

McGee gave her a small, half smile before continuing to focus on his computer.

Tony, as usual, was late and his desk sat empty.

"Well we are a cheery bunch this morning aren't we" she spoke out loud.

She lowered her voice, as if to imitate Gibbs, "Yes Ziva, we are. And how are you today?"

She answered herself with her usual voice, "I'm fine, thank you for asking".

Tony walked in to see her holding a very animated conversation with herself. His face was set and he did not look happy. "Ziva – it was a year ago today Agent Todd was shot…" his voice trailed off as he looked her in the eye before glancing to her desk, the desk where Kate used to sit before Ziva came to work with them.

Ziva felt a shiver run down her entire body. How could she not have known? The brightness in her eyes was replaced with an emotion she had fought to bury. She swallowed as she remembered the events of the previous year.

"I – I'm sorry, I …"

"Ziva, its alright. Its not your fault," Gibbs spoke up for the first time. He got up from his chair and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before walking over the elevator. Coffee run, she knew his schedule almost as if it were her own.

McGee walked over to her, feeling guilty about making her feel bad for a situation she had nothing to do with. "I miss Kate, Ziva, but I'm glad you are here" he looked up at her then down at the ground, clearing his throat as he did so. He was on his way to visit Abby and didn't want the day to continue on without him letting Ziva know just important she had become to him – to all of them. She would never replace Kate, no-one could. But she was their co-worker too, their friend and he trusted her with his life.

Tony was sitting at his desk, watching the exchange between them. Ziva seemed lost in thought as she thanked McGee for his kind words.

She stood in the middle of their work area, looking lost. Tony walked over to her, placing his hands upon her shoulders, meeting her gaze with an intensity that made her shiver all over again. "Ziva – I miss Kate too. We all do. Today is just going to be difficult for all of us. But I want you to know I wouldn't want anyone else here now… if Kate were still alive I'd want both of you here".

Ziva stifled an awkward laugh, "Yeah, Tony, you would be real happy to have the two of us fawning all over you".

Tony continued to look at her, not responding at all as she expected he would. "Kate was my friend, Ziva. Nothing more. She was like – like a sister, that is if I had a sister". He looked thoughtful. "Yeah, I would have wanted her to be like Kate… if I had a sister that is." His gaze drifted off, he was looking over her shoulder, deep in thought.

Ziva still felt unsettled. They had never discussed Kate before. She knew how close they all were and felt it best left alone.

Tony returned his focus to Ziva. He moved in closer, just enough to feel her breath on his face as she looked up at him. For a split second she thought he was going to kiss her. The chemistry between them had been electric from day one. Conscious they were in the office, he broke away, taking a step back and dropping his hands to his sides. Glancing around the office, he spoke softly to her, "Will you come with me to the memorial tonight?" His voice cracked slightly.

She knew he needed her support. "I'll be there Tony," she reassured him.

He visibly relaxed. "Thank you," he smiled at her.

Ziva moved back to sit behind her computer. Tony was settling in at his own desk, not noticing the lone tear that rolled down her cheek. For her it was a reminder that nearly one year ago, she had killed her own brother. She would mourn him in her own way. She would mourn the brother she grew up with and not the monster he had become. The monster who had murdered Kate.

She wiped the tear from her face and continued to work as she had done since joining the NCIS team, the team she now considered closer to her than her own family.

Tonight she would bury the emotion all over again.

**END**


End file.
